Can You Love Someone Unconditionally?
We know we need to love unconditionally but it seems hard to achieve this ideal. It could be our misunderstanding of what the term means or we don’t know in which way to act to love our significant others unconditionally.
What Does Unconditional Love Mean To You?
I personally have found myself in a relationship where I equated love to certain things I wanted. I wanted to only love only if I can get these things.
As expected, my relationships suffered and failed miserably, not once but countless times. I realised the problem wasn’t my partners but me.
I was the one not loving both myself and my partner unconditionally. I began to dig deeper into the subject of true unconditional love; looking for how to love unconditionally the imperfect person.
Below are the 4 ways I remind myself on how to be the person to love without strings attached.
Love Yourself Unconditionally
Loving unconditionally begin with you. Do you love the way you are? Are you very critical of yourself?
You have to accept that you are not perfect and you will make mistakes (a lot of them) as you journey through life.
To love yourself unconditionally, is to first accept who you are, what you have become and what you intend to be.
Learn to give attention and kindness to yourself. Take time to build your self-esteem and self-confidence and not allowing the opinions of others to push you down.
Also, never forget to forgive yourself for all the wrong you did to others and against yourself. This is the beginning of learning to love unconditionally. As you begin to do these things to yourself, it will be easier to do same to others. You can only give what you have.
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Action Speaks Louder Than Words
Saying you love others isn’t enough. And saying it when everything seems fine isn’t true unconditional love and means nothing. Your actions should speak for themselves.
Prove to others how much you love them in both good and bad times and not when you are having fun at the beach or on a date in those fancy restaurants. Let them believe without doubting the love you have for them.
Forgive people for their mistakes and failures, be there when they need you the most and understand what they are going through.
This is how to love unconditionally the imperfect person. But be careful not to allow yourself to be manipulated by those who want to take advantage of your love.
Unconditional love doesn’t mean an avenue to be abused. It should be for the person who can’t do it alone, the one who genuinely needs your upliftment. That is true unconditional love.
Understand People Are Unique
Everyone is unique and so is your partner. He or she is not an extension of you that requires change to suit your needs and wants. Your partner is different, with a unique worldview, habits and set of temperaments.
If you fell in love and accepted them for who they are. It won’t be called love, if you suddenly realise what they do every day (ever since you knew them) is wrong. This is asking them to change to please you.
Once their behaviour doesn’t in anyway hurt you or themselves emotionally and/or physically, you should just let them be and love them for being different.
Don’t Give Up On People You Love
Life is difficult as it comes and almost everyone will have a hard time at some point. This leads to picking up of bad and defeatist habits and mind-sets. It can cause quite a change in the person you once knew.
It can be a very difficult moment for them. This won’t be the right time to turn your back and call it a quit. Breaking your relationship which you have putting so much into. Your assuring words and care might be all what they need to put themselves back together.
This is not the time to criticize them for petty things or accuse them for neglecting your needs and using it as a chance to leave them. That is being inconsiderate and selfish.
To love unconditionally the imperfect person first requires you to love yourself and understanding who you are. Understand that everyone is different and we need to accept people as they are and what they are becoming.
If you say you love someone; then show it. Show how much you care and love them. It could be kind words, your encouragement or a meaningful gift.
Let people know you have got their back, don’t push them away because they are temporarily not themselves and are trying to come out of hard times.
Finally, be careful to set boundaries so that your love won’t be abused or taken for granted. Your unconditional love for the imperfect person should not be a time to allow yourself to be abused.